{"id":954,"date":"2025-11-10T07:55:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-10T06:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.aumental.be\/la-relation-avec-le-coach-regards-croises\/"},"modified":"2026-10-12T22:11:19","modified_gmt":"2026-10-12T20:11:19","slug":"la-relation-avec-le-coach-regards-croises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/en\/la-relation-avec-le-coach-regards-croises\/","title":{"rendered":"The relationship with the coach: different perspectives"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Behind every young athlete there is an environment: a coach, a family, teachers, teammates. This circle of support forms a real relational system that influences not only performance, but above all motivation, confidence and well-being (Jowett &amp; Cockerill, 2003). Within this framework, everyone (coach, athlete, parent) plays a specific role, carrying expectations, responsibilities and sometimes tensions. The quality of this relationship rests on a delicate balance between guidance and autonomy.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-introduction\"><strong>Introduction<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The coach, the parent and the athlete each hold a key place, and any imbalance between these three poles can create tension.<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Parent \u2013 Child: <\/strong>this is the emotional base. The parent supports, encourages, listens and helps their child manage the pressure or emotions linked to their journey.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Coach \u2013 Child:<\/strong> this is the technical and educational base. The coach guides, sets the framework and passes on discipline and confidence.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Parent \u2013 Coach:<\/strong> this is the partnership base. Both must work together, respecting each other's role, to support the young person in their development.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recent research (Harwood &amp; Knight, 2015; Knight et al., 2020) shows that athletes progress better when these relationships are consistent. Conversely, a lack of communication or misunderstandings could harm motivation and enjoyment of the sport.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-le-role-du-coach-entre-leadership-et-limites\"><strong>The role of the coach: between leadership and limits<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The coach holds a central position: they are at once a technical guide, a social role model and a secondary attachment figure for the athlete (Mageau &amp; Vallerand, 2003). Their role goes beyond passing on know-how to include creating a motivational climate that favours progress. A self-determined motivational climate, based on encouraging autonomy, competence and social belonging, is associated with better perseverance and lasting satisfaction in sport (Deci &amp; Ryan, 2000).<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">However, the coach faces several challenges: pressure to perform, sometimes contradictory parental expectations and the need to keep a professional distance to preserve their authority while remaining caring. Too much control or emotional closeness can weaken the coach-athlete-parent dynamic (Jowett &amp; Poczwardowski, 2007).<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At AU MENTAL, we insist on this idea: talking with the coach doesn't mean challenging them, but collaborating. When everyone keeps to their role and exchanges are clear and kind, everyone moves in the same direction and contributes to the well-being of the developing athlete.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2297\" height=\"1292\" src=\"https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/rezli-QWDaiPfly5k-unsplash-edited-1.webp\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-951\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/rezli-QWDaiPfly5k-unsplash-edited-1.webp 2297w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/rezli-QWDaiPfly5k-unsplash-edited-1-300x169.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/rezli-QWDaiPfly5k-unsplash-edited-1-1024x576.webp 1024w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/rezli-QWDaiPfly5k-unsplash-edited-1-768x432.webp 768w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/rezli-QWDaiPfly5k-unsplash-edited-1-1536x864.webp 1536w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/rezli-QWDaiPfly5k-unsplash-edited-1-2048x1152.webp 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2297px) 100vw, 2297px\" \/><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-le-role-des-parents-soutenir-sans-empieter\"><strong>The role of parents: supporting without overstepping<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parents are often the young athlete's first support, logistically, emotionally and financially. Their involvement directly influences the child's motivation and psychological well-being (Harwood &amp; Knight, 2015). However, parental involvement needs to strike a balance: overly intrusive support or excessive expectations can create performance stress and interfere with the coach-athlete relationship (Knight et al., 2016).<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parents should therefore take on the role of the coach's partners rather than \u201cco-coaches\u201d. In other words, communicating openly and respectfully with the coaching staff promotes educational consistency around the young person. Studies show that perceiving a supportive, consistent climate between coach and parents fosters the athlete's intrinsic motivation and self-confidence (Gould et al., 2006).<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A very common example, which comes up frequently in sessions, is the \u201cdebrief in the car\u201d after a match or training session. Many parents, with good intentions, use this moment to analyse the young person's performance. However, the conversation often slides into direct criticism, remarks about mistakes or comparisons with other players.<\/p>\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-ce-type-d-echange-peut-avoir-plusieurs-effets-psychologiques-negatifs\">This kind of exchange can have several negative psychological effects:<\/h5>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Personalising criticism <\/strong>: the child interprets the comments not as sporting analysis, but as a judgement on themselves.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Reduced sense of competence <\/strong>: they may develop persistent doubts about their abilities, especially if feedback focuses on what is going wrong rather than on what is improving.<\/li>\n<li><strong>A climate of pressure and fear of disappointing:<\/strong> the young person anticipates the journey home as a moment of evaluation, which can increase performance anxiety and reduce the enjoyment of playing.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Disruption of the relationship with the coach:<\/strong> what the parent says may contradict what the coach says, creating confusion and inconsistency in the child's reference points.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The parents' role is not to analyse technical performance, but to regulate the young person's emotions, validate their experience and maintain a psychologically safe climate. A simple open question such as \u201cHow did you feel today?\u201d, \u201cWhat did you learn from this match?\u201d, \u201cWhat could you try differently next time?\u201d, \u201cWhat are you proud of despite the result?\u201d often allows a more constructive exchange than technical comments alone.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These dynamics are widely described and worked on in specialised programmes at <a href=\"\/en\/au-mental-academy\/\"><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-vivid-red-color\">AU MENTAL Academy<\/mark><\/a>, which highlights the impact of parental language on the motivation, self-confidence and mental development of young athletes.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-l-athlete-trouver-sa-place-et-apprendre-a-communiquer\"><strong>The athlete: finding their place and learning to communicate<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Athletes, especially in adolescence, build themselves through a quest for identity in which sport plays a central role. Finding their place between the coach's expectations and the parents' expectations can be a source of tension or confusion (Petitpas et al., 2009).<br \/>Developing assertive communication skills and psychological autonomy is therefore essential to express their needs, emotions and goals. Young athletes who perceive a relationship of trust and two-way communication with their coach show better emotional well-being and greater resilience in the face of failure (Jowett, 2017).<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The quality of the coach-athlete relationship also predicts not only performance but also satisfaction in sport (Felton &amp; Jowett, 2013).<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2400\" height=\"1349\" src=\"https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/getty-images-2z95Nue9QNs-unsplash-edited.webp\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-952\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/getty-images-2z95Nue9QNs-unsplash-edited.webp 2400w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/getty-images-2z95Nue9QNs-unsplash-edited-300x169.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/getty-images-2z95Nue9QNs-unsplash-edited-1024x576.webp 1024w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/getty-images-2z95Nue9QNs-unsplash-edited-768x432.webp 768w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/getty-images-2z95Nue9QNs-unsplash-edited-1536x863.webp 1536w, https:\/\/www.aumental.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/getty-images-2z95Nue9QNs-unsplash-edited-2048x1151.webp 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2400px) 100vw, 2400px\" \/><\/figure>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-le-trio-coach-athlete-parents-une-alliance-a-construire\"><strong>The coach-athlete-parent trio: an alliance to build<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ideally, this trio works as an educational alliance based on trust, clear roles and communication. When these conditions are met, the young athlete benefits from a consistent, supportive environment that favours their overall development (Harwood, Thrower, &amp; Knight, 2019).<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Research in social psychology highlights the importance of reciprocity and mutual respect: each person must recognise the other's competence in their role. Parents and coach share a common goal, the young person's well-being and fulfilment, but must learn to adjust their stance to avoid rivalry or mixed messages (Jowett &amp; Shanmugam, 2016).<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-une-communication-constructive-repose-sur-quatre-piliers\">Constructive communication rests on four pillars:<\/h4>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Clarity: <\/strong>Ask precise, factual questions: \u201cHow can I help at home to support their goals?\u201d, \u201cWhat are this month's goals?\u201d.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Active listening: <\/strong>Show you understand, rephrase, take a real interest in the other person's point of view.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Mutual respect:<\/strong> Recognise the coach's expertise and the child's experience. The parent supports, the coach guides, the child learns.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Solution focus:<\/strong> Look for what you can do together, without blaming or comparing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Good practice: never criticise the coach's decisions in front of the child. It weakens their authority reference point and creates emotional confusion.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-les-risques-de-derive-surcharge-et-burnout-relationnel\"><strong>The risks of things going wrong: overload and relational burnout<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When roles are no longer respected (parents coaching, a coach overstepping their framework, contradictory expectations), the system loses its consistency. This confusion creates emotional overload: the child receives opposing messages, the coach feels challenged, and the parents wear themselves out trying to control everything.<\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Over time, this climate can lead to burnout in the athlete. Research shows that this kind of systemic stress clearly increases the risk of dropping out and strongly encourages avoidance behaviours (this is an extremely valuable warning sign in psychological support) (DeFreese &amp; Smith, 2014).<\/p>\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-vivid-red-color\">It is a team in which communication plays a central role.<\/mark><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-pour-avancer-ensemble\"><strong>Moving forward together<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The relationship between coach, athlete and parents is not fixed: it evolves over time, with goals and with the athlete's maturity. Encouraging open communication, mutual respect and clear roles helps prevent conflict and strengthens cohesion around the young athlete. The coach is not just a technician. They create a motivational climate in which the young person can learn to be autonomous, competent and connected to others (Deci &amp; Ryan, 2000). <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parents, for their part, have an equally crucial role: they guarantee the living environment and maintain the balance between sport, school and rest. Their mission is not to \u201ccoach at home\u201d, but to help their child develop healthy habits and a long-term vision. It is this balance between high standards and care that forges lasting motivation. The alliance between these three actors is not only a condition for sporting success, but above all a lever for lasting psychological and social development.<\/p>\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator aligncenter has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-default\"\/>\n<div style=\"height:25px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-references-bibliographiques-nbsp\"><strong>References&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h4>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Deci, E. L., &amp; Ryan, R. M. (2000). <em>The \u201cwhat\u201d and \u201cwhy\u201d of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior.<\/em> Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227\u2013268.<\/li>\n<li>DeFreese, J. D., &amp; Smith, A. L. (2014). Athlete burnout: A systematic review of the literature. <em>International Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 12<\/em>(3), 280\u2013299. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1080\/1612197X.2014.932306<\/li>\n<li>Felton, L., &amp; Jowett, S. (2013). <em>Attachment and well-being: The mediating role of psychological needs satisfaction within the coach\u2013athlete and parent\u2013athlete relational contexts.<\/em> Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 14(1), 57\u201365.<\/li>\n<li>Gould, D., Lauer, L., Rolo, C., Jannes, C., &amp; Pennisi, N. (2006). <em>The role of parents in tennis success: Focus group interviews with junior coaches.<\/em> The Sport Psychologist, 20(1), 18\u201337.<\/li>\n<li>Harwood, C. G., &amp; Knight, C. J. (2015). <em>Parenting in youth sport: A position paper on parenting expertise.<\/em> Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 16, 24\u201335.<\/li>\n<li>Harwood, C. G., Thrower, S. N., &amp; Knight, C. J. (2019). <em>Parent-coach-athlete communication: The missing link in triadic relationship research.<\/em> Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 31(1), 1\u201316.<\/li>\n<li>Jowett, S. (2017). <em>Coaching effectiveness: The coach\u2013athlete relationship at its heart.<\/em> Current Opinion in Psychology, 16, 154\u2013158.<\/li>\n<li>Jowett, S., &amp; Cockerill, I. M. (2003). <em>Olympic medallists\u2019 perspective of the athlete\u2013coach relationship.<\/em> Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 4(4), 313\u2013331.<\/li>\n<li>Jowett, S., &amp; Poczwardowski, A. (2007). <em>Understanding the coach\u2013athlete relationship.<\/em> In S. Jowett &amp; D. Lavallee (Eds.), <em>Social psychology in sport<\/em> (pp. 3\u201314). Human Kinetics.<\/li>\n<li>Jowett, S., &amp; Shanmugam, V. (2016). <em>Relational coaching in sport: Its psychological underpinnings and practical effectiveness.<\/em> In R. J. Schinke, K. R. McGannon, &amp; B. Smith (Eds.), <em>Routledge international handbook of sport psychology<\/em> (pp. 471\u2013484). Routledge.<\/li>\n<li>Knight, C. J., Berrow, S. R., &amp; Harwood, C. G. (2016). <em>Parenting in sport.<\/em> Current Opinion in Psychology, 16, 93\u201397.<\/li>\n<li>Mageau, G. A., &amp; Vallerand, R. J. (2003). <em>The coach\u2013athlete relationship: A motivational model.<\/em> Journal of Sports Sciences, 21(11), 883\u2013904.<\/li>\n<li>Petitpas, A. J., Cornelius, A. E., Van Raalte, J. L., &amp; Jones, T. (2009). <em>A framework for planning youth sport programs that foster psychosocial development.<\/em> The Sport Psychologist, 19(1), 63\u201380.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In sport, everyone (coach, athlete and parent) plays a specific role, with expectations, responsibilities and sometimes tensions. This circle of support forms a real relational system that shapes not only performance but above all motivation, confidence and well-being.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":953,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[30,35,41,46],"class_list":["post-954","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-journal-des-champions","tag-coaching-mental","tag-equilibre","tag-performances","tag-sante-et-bien-etre"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>La relation avec le coach : regards crois\u00e9s - AU MENTAL<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Un coach joue un r\u00f4le crucial dans le d\u00e9veloppement des athl\u00e8tes. 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